balcony

She was sitting at her desk, lost in thought. It was quite late at night, and she still had some reading she wanted to get done. She had a tendency to chew at the corner of her lip and finger while staring into deep space. Her desk was facing the window, looking onto the neighbouring house. The balcony lights suddenly turned on, which startled her out of her reverie. Three people walked onto the balcony, stretching and taking in the night air. Candles were lit, adding to the bright glow of the balcony. Good idea, it was cold outside... Her thoughts drifted along with her eyes, settling on the face of a young man, who was staring right at her! Her attention was focused for a second too long to look away. She gave a tentative smile and wave, bringing a wide grin to the man's rosy face. He was wearing a cap, but she could see some of his curly golden hair underneath. She thought he looked at ease and very happy where he was. After a few minutes goofily smiling at each other, he waved and went back to his phone, so she pulled out her book and started reading. In a few moments, the balcony lights went out, and everything outside her window became black again. 

Alternatively: 

She was reclined at her desk on the third floor, thinking. It was 1 am, and she still had some reading that she wanted to do. She had a tendency to chew at her index finger while staring into deep space. Her desk was facing the window, looking onto the neighbouring house. The balcony lights flipped on, startling her out of her reverie. Three people emerged onto the balcony, stretching in the night air and talking. Candles glowed crisply across the dark 4-meter distance, which made the floating balcony appear inviting and warm. It looks chilly out tonight... Her thoughts drifted with her eyes, settling on the face of a young man, who was staring right at her! Her attention was focused for a second too long to look away. She gave a tentative smile and wave, bringing a bright grin to the man's face that revealed some dimples. After a minute of grinning at each other, he waved and hunched back over his phone, so she opened her book and started reading. After a few moments, the lights flickered out, rendering the balcony instantly dark again. Illuminated by the light in her own room, she continued to read into the night. 

Poetry over 3 years

Skinning a salmon

Colourful leaps!

glistening, burning flesh

shimmering across the walls,

it could have grown a glass eye here.

Smooth and sinuous under my nail,

from my hands scales fall,

a fish’s ashes.

I pay no respects

slide the blade across

and separate.

-July 2020

Working in industry

I'm interested in working for a pharmaceutical company such as GSK, Roche, etc.
Yesterday in conversation with my friend working in industry everything was put into perspective. The job feels very glamorous and planning-heavy. Having a good team is key, it will make those 60-hour weeks pass better.

Ideas

I am writing as a male.

I walk around the room with my arms at my side. They easily glide acros my chest, which is flat.

Blurry vlog in toronto
Another idea. Writing about moving all my belongings from one room to another. Memories assiciated with it. Short story format
Can there be an intermediate type of text between a poem and short story?
Megan boyle is candid
Candid cam
Reconnecting with long lost people you said hi to once

Bridge and Train Walk

It was a beautiful sunny day. Few clouds, blue sky. The CN tower appeared taller today. Mounds of human shit were on the path by the Cityplace bridge, probably left by the homeless people that live by the go train tracks. They probably wiped their asses with leaves. I imagined a wind blowing leaves around me, one leaf with possible human shit hitting my arm. Walking underneath the spadina bridge it becomes dark. I sit at the ledge by the train tracks and think about surviving the fall. The day passes and I miss my meetup with a friend at the MOCA because I am sitting by the tracks.

tattoo

Some days ill want to remain pure and tattooless
And some days ill say fuck that shit and consider getting a yakuza full back tattoo

drinking alcohol

Sometimes I will want to drink medium sweet white wine. I don't know when or why. I feel stressed and tired from work so then I will drink a glass or two. I stop at 3 glasses, but it depends on how full of a glass I pour.

My mom is afraid of alcohol. She thinks it will force her to become addicted with one sip. She can tolerate the idea of me drinking, though. Maybe because she does not see me do it as often as I do. There are people that drink even more than I do, mom.

I think about how I have no life experience. I don't even drive. I feel strongly that driving will answer all my questions about life. I have met people that have done a lot of travelling and they seem to have expertise on important things such as currency exchange and how not to get scammed by locals.

I am drinking a glass of $8 toro bravo merlot. it has a smoky taste and a creamy aftertaste. The next glass I will drink my $19 bottle albert bichot 2018 bourgogne pinot noir. It is more sour, but again light bodied. The description reads "Flattering nose with an appealing palette of fruity aromas (blackcurrant, redcurrant, plum). Fleshy and balanced on the palate with oaked notes and a pleasing finish."
I am wondering if it's possible to write a sex scene without using swears.

I am again scared to touch my hair.
I have all these pencils and ink pens but I keep thinking I will never make anything substantial. A failed investment.