October 22. Sometimes I feel myself speeding far away from my parents. It happened slowly over time without me realizing it. Reading tao lin gives me deep thoughts. I can relate to his discussion about feeling like life is mundane and boring. The way he writes in trip is very relatable and I wish I picked this up sooner
October 23. The older you grow the less black and white everything becomes. For example having a dog during the covid pandemic. It would make the dog happy to play with other dogs at a dog park but there is still a risk for it to catch something. Likewise, you're increasing your risk of covid exposure when you mingle with other dog owners at the park. Is there a compromise? Pragmatic people would say just don't own a dog. is my use of likewise correct? i saw a huge guy walking a tiny chihuahua today. I also saw a smiling man pass me with a little white dog. as I was leaving my house, I saw a girl walking her golden retriever, and then I saw her run up the street in the opposite direction as I was heading home. maybe I have enough material to write a poem chapbook about walking dogs and the meaning of life.
October 25. Update on progress of trip reading: I find it hard to believe that an individual can obtain and use so many different types of drugs (opioids, amphetamines, methadone) without overdosing or having debilitating side effects. but i guess that's life. now i stridently march into this week.
October 27. why is being professional harder than being friendly? every time i attend these zoom "career" sessions I get worried that I'm not doing enough with my career. I also realize talking about your "career" is altogether shameless. I am attracted to humble people who are just trying to do their best. When you talk career it becomes competitive and show-offish. You're only trying to show off what little you have. Found a really cool tao lin poem.
Oct 30. how to make someone madly in love with me?
Oct 31. Yani recommended this
podcast during my bday zoom. it was nice to catch up with my network of friends in all sorts of fields. Since last week I've been offline. I am thinking of throwing away my phone for a day like tao lin did at the end of Trip. will update. It's hard to catch up.
Nov 1. I hurriedly did 2 assignments.
Nov 2. I had my 2nd day of placement and it was really slow. Literally just did data entry using healthwatch the whole day and called some people. I applied for more money from the faculty. should have put my weekly "grosho" expenses as $500 grr.
Nov 3. I received an email saying my memoir was accepted to the online QQ archive. after the acceptance e-mail, they asked if i would prefer e-transfer or direct deposit of $50. I cried after watching a particularly emotional episode of midnight diner.
Nov 4. I watched the election numbers. They have been stuck all morning.