my hands were chapped. i could only watch despondently as multiple climbers took on the routes i had tried and failed. then one by one, they left, chatting happily about their great workout. until there was one man left that i had met at another climbing gym. we briefly exchanged greetings, then he left too, hauling along his tripod and CamelBak. i was the only one in the gym but could not climb any further, so i sat and stared at the walls for a good twenty minutes. the walls seemed to be caving in and the boulders mocked me with their colourfulness. you'll keep trying but never reach the end of my route, which isn't even that high up, they were saying. the lights were on, the music was playing. no one was climbing. i decided to try a couple of medium difficulty routes. more people walked into the gym. their presence bothered me. i decided to sit and watch the more successful climbers, and analyze their back movements. i learned nothing, except for the fact that everyone was stronger than me because i had already climbed for one and a half hours. my forearms felt stiffer than before. i decided to leave.