Sometimes I feel like I'm someone intent on such a stubborn goal that nothing around them matters (language, behaviour etc), like one of those asian dudes that take up paragraphs explaining an answer to a question. That sort of energy but I expend it towards more useless things such as writing about life, happenings that occur and general things that don't really help.
So far I've lacked the motivation to do stuff again. It comes in periods where I'm either suffering heatstroke or "emotional boredom"???
It seems like when I don't talk that much it gradually gets harder to express the things I'm thinking. Sometimes it gets easier, but more and more I'm noticing this gap between thought and speech. Which worries me.
When I get started on a topic (like teaching) it's hard to stop talking, and my excitement translates into a garble of disorganized sentences with no beginning and end and a million commas...