occasionally I'll rent a car and go on a little outing by myself, or with my boyfriend. We'll visit supermarkets with dazzling arrays of fruit and meats, then stop by for some delicious chinese food in a small plaza up north. other times, I'll visit my friends and together we'll go to these same supermarkets to buy handfuls of big fruit and unique animals to cook a t home. after a tiring da y of spending money and hauling around bags, the route to go home is typically a darker and more isolated road by one of the major parks in the city. Driving the straight road by the park shrouded in darkness felt surreal. Calm, almost. There were animals quietly settling down in there for the sleep or the night-time guard . There were animals that had eyes that could see through the inky velvet darkness. In that forest I coudl have laid down on the dried leaves and twigs and dirt, roll ed around and stared up at the canopy , a dark circlet of branches ringing a murky blue-grey night sky. Driving away from the glittering lights o f the city was when I felt most alive. I had my own wits to rely on. And a comfortable seat to take in the open road and all sights my travels gave to me . The next day I'd be back in that mess, trying to figure out the next day and the next day like everyone else in that city. I remember stepping out of the train into the heart of downtown, with a hot, stinky musky wind blowing into my face as I tried to get my bearings and determine where I was to go next in my appointment schedule, lists seeming ly neverending and head constantly buzzing. Now I'd be driving by the lakeside , in full view of the apartments and trees and the gaping hole to my left that was supposed to be the lake. Homeward b ound, safe to see another day while the rest of us writhe on the cold pavement, imprisoned by our minds in a cage of our own making. Summer I seem to have lost the ability to copy and/or paste. Shame is an interesting thing. I felt it with my boyfriend, I feel it with my job and with my friends. In between long walks and occasional alcohol and marijuana-fueled rants, there’s some loving moments.

I think I'm being creative by posting the entire text in the title. Seems like having a blog is still an interesting medium, so I'll keep going.