today i dropped my tupperware and it shattered on the ground. embarrassed, i let one of the staff know and she called housekeeping. she was very nice about it and even asked if i ended up buying some lunch. i ended up buying a bagel for lunch and ate it sitting outside the hospital in the sun. it is very hot outside all of a sudden, as if summer was just a day away.
today calling a patient made me cry in front of my preceptor. he got me tissues and said her feelings were valid but her actions were not.
i am negotiating with myself, allowing myself to sit outside while reading notes. the excitement/motivation of the first 2 weeks has passed so i feel i need more of this.