感谢的感觉

对世界所有暗恋的人

谢谢你悄悄得想着别人

对我的读者

感谢你阅读我的博客

我会继续写有意思的事情

a calm winter

this month was full of wistful thinking and numbness, probably. i had asked myself countless rhetorical questions, not expecting any answer back. what if i didn't study for this test, what would happen if the bridge collapsed, who lives in that building, what are the people walking past me thinking about, when is too cold for jogging outside, what kind of 30 year old do i want to be, how do i deal with my aging body in a way that is both elegant and practical, will i ever get rid of my belly and thigh fat, even if i work out really hard? my writing was "published" online via QQ archive. i attended many events, and was able to successfully transfer my placement to calgary. i am looking forward to this change of pace, i want to push myself further in a sense, even though it means spending more time at home feeling awkward with my parents. i want to be more assertive. 

thought dump

it sits there, plump and juicy and half-peeled. its insides are filled with liquid, it could burst any minute. under the bright grey daylight the skin is pockmarked like a teenager's face. not even worth the weight of two coins, i free the flesh within. drops of zest fill the air like dust. its irregular roundness is worrying. the translucent membrane skin glows like a baby's peach fuzz. i taste the crystalline drops of sunshine. happiness on earth is the first bite.