Working in industry

I'm interested in working for a pharmaceutical company such as GSK, Roche, etc.
Yesterday in conversation with my friend working in industry everything was put into perspective. The job feels very glamorous and planning-heavy. Having a good team is key, it will make those 60-hour weeks pass better.

Ideas

I am writing as a male.

I walk around the room with my arms at my side. They easily glide acros my chest, which is flat.

Blurry vlog in toronto
Another idea. Writing about moving all my belongings from one room to another. Memories assiciated with it. Short story format
Can there be an intermediate type of text between a poem and short story?
Megan boyle is candid
Candid cam
Reconnecting with long lost people you said hi to once

Bridge and Train Walk

It was a beautiful sunny day. Few clouds, blue sky. The CN tower appeared taller today. Mounds of human shit were on the path by the Cityplace bridge, probably left by the homeless people that live by the go train tracks. They probably wiped their asses with leaves. I imagined a wind blowing leaves around me, one leaf with possible human shit hitting my arm. Walking underneath the spadina bridge it becomes dark. I sit at the ledge by the train tracks and think about surviving the fall. The day passes and I miss my meetup with a friend at the MOCA because I am sitting by the tracks.

tattoo

Some days ill want to remain pure and tattooless
And some days ill say fuck that shit and consider getting a yakuza full back tattoo

drinking alcohol

Sometimes I will want to drink medium sweet white wine. I don't know when or why. I feel stressed and tired from work so then I will drink a glass or two. I stop at 3 glasses, but it depends on how full of a glass I pour.

My mom is afraid of alcohol. She thinks it will force her to become addicted with one sip. She can tolerate the idea of me drinking, though. Maybe because she does not see me do it as often as I do. There are people that drink even more than I do, mom.

I think about how I have no life experience. I don't even drive. I feel strongly that driving will answer all my questions about life. I have met people that have done a lot of travelling and they seem to have expertise on important things such as currency exchange and how not to get scammed by locals.

I am drinking a glass of $8 toro bravo merlot. it has a smoky taste and a creamy aftertaste. The next glass I will drink my $19 bottle albert bichot 2018 bourgogne pinot noir. It is more sour, but again light bodied. The description reads "Flattering nose with an appealing palette of fruity aromas (blackcurrant, redcurrant, plum). Fleshy and balanced on the palate with oaked notes and a pleasing finish."
I am wondering if it's possible to write a sex scene without using swears.

I am again scared to touch my hair.
I have all these pencils and ink pens but I keep thinking I will never make anything substantial. A failed investment.

instagram

#猫 got me thinking

Im sure there are hashtags in different languages on instagram. But what if, in the future, alternative formats to text such as images and sound clips could be used as hashtags?

idea about instagram.
after updating the account there was a consistent flood of activity. the page overall probably got 147 total engagements. I call them engagements because they were not just likes.
There were comments. my high school friend liked 4 posts. then my pharmacy friends liked 3-5 posts each. then my high school friend liked some more stuff, around 7 posts. then a person i've never met before liked 10 posts. my sister liked 7 posts. then a mutual friend liked 10 posts.
even liking something can be turned against you. the internet feels too political right now.
i just discovered donald trump's instagram today. i swear it was never linked to his infamous twitter page until today. makes sense, because he is launching his campaign right now. according to the news he bought a lot of advertising space for his campaign on youtube.

some tao lin-esque links

 http://www.bearparade.com/todaytheskyisblueandwhitewithbrightbluespotsandasmallpalemoonandiwilldestroyourrelationshiptoday/

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1981/05/04/safeway

I'm disgusted at the $100 digital-only subscription fee for the new yorker. i am interested in testosterone shots. not for myself, but to write about maybe. 

Tao Lin writes very similarily to Frederick Barthelme, who invented "minimalist literature". 

Every plot of a story has a good idea. Tao lin’s Richard Yates even has a good plot. It’s written blandly but it has an underlying idea or circumstance driving the story. In his case, superficially it’s about a bored couple whose ages don’t match up: a completely emotional minor with a bored male protagonist (but really he’s the antagonist), but if you go deeper it’s about an autistic vegan not realizing the legal consequences, and the mom trying to stop them but she is a victim of her own depression and mania. The story mimics reality, because there’s no ending. No names. 

Some good lines:

• I want to apologize ahead of time for my inconsistency.
• I try to imagine myself standing in the shade of one of the buildings at Brentwood plaza. The summer heat is buzzing around me like a broken cooling unit. I feel anticipation to meet up with friends simultaneously with endless boredom. It is set down, block by block during the summer. 
• I can’t wait to go downstairs and make instant noodles at 1 am, triggering the aging cat to wake and rub against my legs. On one hand, the noodles will make me feel good, but on the other hand, the slowly dying cat makes me feel bad. 
• It’s funny how you can trick yourself into thinking you’ll never be sad again. 

Thoughts on august 18

I walked to the library to return the book Unless by Carol Shields. There was a sunshower on my way to the grocery store. I didn’t need extra bags this time, so I bought bubble tea after. I realized the August special deal was for a milk tea slushie after I got the drink.

I boiled spinach, bok choy, and simmered daikon (or icicle radish according to the Loblaws cashier) in dashi and sugar. I caramelized onions and king oyster mushroom in butter. I am also making a batch of pork side ribs marinated in bulgogi sauce, onion, garlic, green onion, and cilantro. I plan on making noodles for dinner. But I am eating so much at 4 pm that there will be no stomach room.

I am sleep deprived and my eyes hurt. I updated my blog yesterday and I updated my instagram today with film pictures. The effort is exhausting. I showed a PhD student around the house today in order to rent the last room, which is why I woke up so early. I am now reading Tao Lin’s short stories online from http://bearparade.com/. I now want to write a short story.

I have this twinge in the upper left quadrant of my back that started yesterday.
I am afraid to touch my hair.
I only want to eat meat, but it has been probably 3 days that I’ve eaten something green. I associate green-leafed vegetables with a cold feeling. Cold but cleansing, my one chance at improving my health.
I am trying to ascend to the level of consciousness that writers of depressing fiction have.

I just sent in my “recovery” creative non-fiction snippet to Room magazine.

Short story idea 
Intro: We are inside trump’s mind. He is narrating his daily life, but an incident keeps distracting them.
Middle: the incident is hinted at. Trump goes to lunch with his wife.
End: the incident is a leakage of a surveillance video that thankfully people on the internet have deemed fake, but it was real. Trump and the two women are the only people that know.
Questions I need to be asking: Consequences if the video is real? Motivation to continue lying? Concept of kidnapping vs consensually held

Another idea
A man is running through the streets away from someone else. he sees a person entering a house. he enters the house and explains the situation. The person lets him hide in their small room with one 1x4 ft window. The person that owns the room is in the middle of recreating a famous painting. The runner pushes through the door to the other side of the house, opens another door and goes onto the balcony. There is a raccoon growling at him. The pursuer has caught up and is now on the balcony. The runner jums onto a roof in an attempt to hide, but he cannot pull himself up and slides down into the garden of the neighbouring house. The pursuer is not there. He catches his breath and walks into the neighbouring house. The next day he calls the painter to thank them for letting him run into their small room.

the travelling ricoh camera

this picture was taken with an old film camera my parents brought from china. it is so old even they've forgotten that it's ours. this was taken on the day i left waterloo, right before i gave nina a haircut. i liked the darkness of the living room with the image of a girl sitting on the balcony reading. this was one of those images i had ready in my mind before taking the photo. maybe it looks too forced, though. 

the lens must not be opening properly in this picture, but it looks fine in the other picture. i can only hope she comes to visit again. 

pentax june photos

 here are some pictures of my roomate's old cat archie. this really bulky camera has a cooler tinted lens, which gave good results, but it's probably better for up close pictures (it has a macro setting).

pictures from july on the small kodak "pill" camera

Nina at the waterloo library picking up books:
who do you think you are, 在大雪封闭的山庄里, and large print format of the amber spyglass
she is also reading the sun also rises by hemingway and women by bukowski

a farmer peeling garlic at the st. jacobs farmer market in waterloo.

my horoscope

writing with purpose, here we go. As the cat snoozes by my leg (audible soft snoring like an old man) the night passes by slowly. In an effort to make something "relevant" I am afraid I will one day stop writing. 

"Scorpio is a transitional constellation between Libra and Sagittarius. It transforms the elegance and good social skills of water sign Libra into the changeable and philosophical thinking of fire sign Sagittarius." I love this sentence.

"If the moon is out of phase, you may have a narrow social circle." Tonight was the new moon. Does that make the moon out of phase? 

next goal: write a post with HTML formatting. Maybe I will try to flexbox this in CSS Later. 

Third Quarter
August 11
12:44 pm

New Moon
August 18
10:41 pm

First Quarter
August 25
1:57 pm

Full Moon
September 2
1:22 am
Full Corn Moon